For those who are lonely, worried, afraid, in pain, or doubt—even just a little! This website has changed it’s mission statement as of February 2011. Now, after surviving two horribly painful and life-threatening illnesses by the Grace of God, it is my only desire to help those in pain. I have technically retired from medicine and now, only wish to use my words to heal, both here and in my books. Please find a great deal of free information here, many free and generously sized personal readings of my books, and other information on the “store page.” Hey, just go to that page and click on “play” on one of the audio books, kick back and enjoy. We’re in the process of making it all Open Source anyway, but there are hours of free stuff there already. There is no attempt to “make money” here, but we do appreciate any support we can garner to help us continue this work. Receiving is a good thing too. Finally, if you are financially challenged and cannot afford a book or tape right now that would help you, just contact me and I will see personally that you get what you need. Many warm blessings, Dr. Todd
PS. Don’t forget to make it a point, to have as much FUN as you possibly can!
The Worst Thing in Your World and,
How to Get Rid of It
Before you can know what the worst thing in your world is, you have to know what “your world” really means. According to cutting edge quantum physicists—and this has been written on extensively—it is everything you project. Everything you see around you, is your projection, a reflection of all the decisions, perceptions and intensions you have. Nothing else. Though we are inundated by TV, media, all sorts of other people in our lives and at work, and our past “understandings” that would tell us intuitively otherwise, your world is everything you think about, and do. Nothing else. No one else has anything to do with it really.
So, what is the worst thing in your world? The answer then, is YOU. By extension, you are also the Best thing in your world. And by further logical extension, the ONLY single thing you can work on to make your world better, the only thing you have any BUSINESS working on, is YOU.
It has been said, and I firmly believe rightly so, that the primary psychopathology of the human race is called “co-dependency.” In the most simple terms, this means, being nosy, meddling with other’s lives—thinking about others opinions of you and themselves, and worse yet, trying to CHANGE other people. As my wise brother Matt often says, “What others think about me, is none of my damn business.” That is healthy. Thinking only about yourself, working only on yourself, concentrating only on yourself, is HEALTHY. Anything else is very, and I mean VERY, unhealthy for you, and will only end up causing you pain and sorrow…Not necessary!!
Different cultures, nationalities, religious sects, political movements, certain parts of the country, and many other groups of people, are well known to have rampant codependency. You can recognize one of these groups by several characteristics that present themselves: First, they believe that they should give others unsolicited advice. They believe they know what is best for others and take it upon themselves to give them little talks or otherwise attempt to influence them to change, to their way of thinking. Second, codependent groups believe their way is “right” and that other’s ways are “wrong.” Thus the little talks and lectures. Third, people that inhabit codependent societies and groups talk about others behind their backs. In plain English, they gossip.
Gossip goes like this. “Oh, so and so told me this very sensitive, personal thing–they confided in me, but I am so “worried” about them. I just have to talk to someone about this. I know I can trust you not to let this go any further, of course. You would never do that. But I just have to talk to someone about this or I fear for this other person’s soul. It’s my responsibility.”
Nonsense. In doing this, you break your confidence with the other person, and sure as sure the sun rises in the East each morning, you can be absolutely certain the person that you are “confiding the secret in” will spread it like wildfire and in no time at all everyone in that group will know the poor person’s innermost and sacred thoughts and feelings. There is no excuse for this. None whatsoever. It has been said, again rightly so, I believe, that if you were to take all the disease, and war, and bombs and horrible things you hear about in the news together, they wouldn’t even come close to matching a single percent of the harm that gossip does in this world. For gossip, when analyzed carefully, rarely amounts to anything more than subtle or not so subtle character assassination.
And, because it is all your world, when you assassinate another’s character by breaking your bond of trust with them, you assassinate yourself and end up causing yourself and unbelievalble amount of pain. You can’t see this most of the time—it’s very hard for you to put this particular cause and effect together—but it absolutely true that much of the pain and lonliness and heartache, lack, conflict, and disharmony you experience in your own life, is the simple result of this primary pathology—thinking about what others are doing and thinking—and trying to “correct” them, instead of concentrating on your own problems and attempting to do what is necessary to correct them. This is universal truth, and I will not equivocate or back down about it one bit. Think about it.
A person asked me recently, “How can you tell if someone IS trustworthy, IS worthy of asking advice, IS worthy of confiding in?” I would not presume to know the entirety that answer but in my own experience there are a few simple things to look for when picking a person to confide in.
First, and foremost, that person is HAPPY. That person has what you want. For example, if you want advice about a relationship, pick someone who HAS a relationship, a successful relationship, a functional, healthy, lasting relationship. For in the end, one thing is absolutely certain. When you take advice from another, you are going to end up being, little by little, LIKE THEM. So, if you want to avoid a lot of heartache and confusion, ONLY pick people who are sane, balanced, healthy, happy, well-adjusted, have great interpersonal relationships, are prosperous and grateful, and noble in their bearing and intentions.
Second, pick someone who DOES NOT WANT TO GIVE YOU ADVICE. Yep. That’s right. I’ve seen this over and over and over. The very best advice givers don’t want to give any advice. They aren’t interested in changing anyone else. Why? Because they aren’t codependent. They don’t sit around “worrying” about what other people are doing, or how they run their lives. They don’t want to. In fact, they avoid it like the plague.
There is a thing I have observed for many years, coming from a family with many psychiatrists and psychotherapists, which I call “Young psychologist syndrome.” But you don’t have to be a psychologist to have it. So many of us take it upon ourselves to believe we are some kind of psychologist or qualified advice-giver, even though we have absolutely no training of any kind, and lead relatively miserable lives of quiet desperation. Regardless, what I have noticed is that you give a person a few years of training, some New Thought education, and/or maybe a degree or two, and they have this natural fervor to want to analyze and correct everyone around them. Everyone, that is, but themselves.
You see this everywhere. Like I say, it is not a syndrome isolated to psychologists, because so many people fancy themselves “experts” that know more than you and “know” what is best for you. You see it also in newly educated and spiritualized people—they can’t help it and mean well, to be sure. It’s all natural and there is not judgement regarding it that should be entertained. They are just excited about learning about their new spirituality and want to tell everyone else about it. It’s OK, I say this with no judgment, but then again, something to learn how to grow out of.
So, to summarize again, pick someone who doesn’t have any interest in giving you advice. The oldest, wisest, most seasoned and mature souls I have ever known, really don’t want to give advice. It is something they have done for so long that it is boring, work, for them. Wow. If you can find one of these people, run, don’t walk and ask them for advice. And don’t be dismayed if you have to ask twice. Or even three times. The more reluctant they are to give you advice on how to run your life, the more qualified they are to do so. Trust me on this one.
Third, and this is really important, pick someone who never talks about anyone else. Pick someone who seems to be a kind of psychic “vault.” What goes in stays there and doesn’t come out. It is not as though such a person is trying really hard to restrain him or herself from talking about others, i.e. gossiping—to use common parlance—it’s just that they have lost all INTEREST in thinking about and talking about others. Such people are rare, but not all that rare. You can recognize them because in your conversations with them, you will virtually never hear them say a single word about anyone else. They just ain’t interested in meddling in other’s affairs.
Fourth, pick someone who has a strong tendency to think a lot about his or her own problems. They talk about their own shortcomings and faults. And they seem to be trying really hard to correct them. Such people, if you ask them, will say things like, “Oh, I don’t know anything. I’ve got so many character defects and problems that I’ve got my hands full working on my own issues.” Or they will say, “No, no, no. I am NOT a wise person. I am just like everyone else. Go find someone who is much wiser and experienced than I.” They apologize a lot too. Sincerely and in a heartfelt way. They never blame anyone for their own problems and always take responsibility for their own plights. They are quick to admit their wrong words and actions and quick to amend them. Find one of these and, Bingo: You’ve hit the jackpot. That is a high soul. That is the way you want to be and, like I say, whoever you talk to is going to rub off on you. Would you like to be humble, and non fascinated with the “problems” of others? Yeah, you would. If you don’t want that now, you’ll figure it out. You DO want to be like them.
I have been blessed to have many such people in my life. But not randomly. I learned, the hard HARD way. I learned, by incredible pain and suffering, to associate myself only with people like this. Dr. J, Dr. George Spady MD, Dr. Michael Metzler MD/PhD, Elaine Hansen PsyD/JD, David Rosenthal MD, my brothers Matt and Jon, my dear mother Nancy, Joe Lynch, Paul Nelson and Sherry Zappato, Ken and Glyndon K., Robin Ryerson, Brad Sykes, and a bunch of other folks I am embarrassed to leave out at this moment but will surely mention in due course.
So, to summarize this whole blog: The Worst Thing in Your World, is YOUR tendency to want to change how others think. Yes and yes again: The very worst thing in your world could very well be your tendency, if you have it, to “worry” about others, “obsess over their “wrong” ways of living their own lives, and your tendency to take it upon yourself to “correct” them—so that they think the “right way” – YOUR way.
This brings pain, dear ones. IT BRINGS YOU MORE AND MORE PAIN, AS IF A WELLSPRING OF INTERNAL SUFFERING THAT SEEMS TO HAVE NO END, NO BOTTOM. Pain that is subtle, insidious and ever so hard to associate with its cause. If you find yourself alone without love, in financial crisis all the time, depressed, worried, anxious, restless, lacking self-esteem, and just plain UNHAPPY, it is my most sincere desire to bring you some measure of relief. I’m so far down the road of my life now that I really don’t care a whole lot about anything but protecting and nurturing my loved ones, and relieving as much suffering as I can. I wish I didn’t have to lecture you or risk being “preachy,” which I most certainly am, lol, but I really want to help you find the way out of the maze of pain that baffles you at every turn.
So: Stop it. Just stop thinking about what is wrong with others. Stop thinking about what is wrong with the country, or the president, or some other country, or the financial system, or the IRS, or the other political party, or your neighbor, or your friend, your son or daughter, your husband or wife, or anyone or anything else that is not YOU. And don’t expect to just stop it once and be done with it. The mind develops these little ruts in its road, and the tires keep falling back into them. You have to keep pulling yourself out, steering yourself out, over and over and over. How long will it take? I don’t know. It will take as long as it will take. But I do know that it will be worth it. For when you have accomplished this, a huge proportion of your psychic discomfort will have mysteriously albeit naturally, disappeared.
You can only change ONE thing in this world. And that is YOU. Hey. It’s not something I made up; I’m not that smart. But I did have people teach this to me. Two accidents and illnesses involved got me in so much pain a few years ago that I finally stopped thinking I was the big expert on everything, admitted I didn’t really know all that much, and started listening—to people that met the above criteria. That’s when my life changed. And now, solely by the Grace of God and their love, I am free and happy, and I love my life—every second of it.
So, if you will excuse me, I must go now and work on my own darn character defects, including being too self-centered, being too codependent, being overly sensitive, not being generous enough, not being pure enough, not having that last 1 or 2% of pure forthcoming honesty I hope one day to achieve, still bearing a few resentments I struggle with…I don’t know…all the usual stuff. But I have HOPE. Because even these things are technically “impossible” for an Iowan farm boy to really change, I have this big card in my back pocket that I’m going to keep pulling out to help. Call it whatever you want. I just call it God now, because that is simple enough. Call is LOVE, call it Nature, all it Divine Intelligence, call it your own Higher Self, it doesn’t matter at all. Semantics.
So, I hope that you will continue to give me all the great feedback I have been getting, sometimes constructive criticism which is very intelligent and loving, through emails to EvolutionAngel55@gmail.com, and I will answer everyone. And I so look forward to getting this site to the point where it is completely Open Source. We’re working on it. So that you can have any and all of my audio and PDF book, CDs, everything, either for free or for $1. I have no right to make money on God. And that’s the source for all of this stuff. Who am I to “charge” for that? Yeah, I’m still going to have to charge a nominal fee for my Evolution Angel Readings, but I’m slashing that by 2/3s to the point where I can just subsist. But the rest is going to be pretty much free. That makes me FEEL like a MILLION DOLLARS!
Have as much fun as possible and let me know if I can help out in any way. Always glad to help my neighbors and readers. It’s purely selfish really, but that’s OK. The law says this: You can ONLY GIVE TO YOURSELF.
With warm regards, and happily,
Dr. Todd
PS My next blog will be about how to help others, how to give advice—if asked–to others in the healthiest way possible.
